dream gone dead

Today I am reminded of the song “Turning Blue” by The Swallows.

…I don’t need much to get by, if I can’t have the cake, I’ll settle for the crumbs. But the day is gonna come when I can’t wait any more…sister I’m turning blue, I’m holding my breath for a dream gone dead…I’m not some kind of brother, but we’re supposed to work it out. I’m trying to stay back, I’m trying to stay cool. I’m trying not to shout! But I’m beginning to have my doubts if I can take any more. No I can’t take any more. Sister I’m turning blue, I’m holding my breath for a dream gone dead… cause the truth don’t fit inside my head…

M.fs

blind

[intro] I keep on waiting
For something invisible
And I keep in waiting
For something to change

[a]I’m blinded by pride
And blind to live my life
I’m tripping over past mistakes
I’m dead but I am still awake

[chorus]I had to sacrifice my own
My heart and soul were yours
I gave it up to save myself
my heart and soul we’re yours
What did I think back then
How could I be so blind
I try to blame somebody else
But I know the choice was mine-I know the choice was mine.

[a]No one to guide me home
I tried to walk alone
I’m walking blind without a guide
I want to see but I can’t

[chorus]I had to sacrifice my own
My heart and soul were yours
I gave it up to save myself
My heart and soul were yours
What did I think back then
How could I be so blind
I try to blame somebody else
But I know the choice was mine-I know the choice was mine

[b]I couldn’t see what I walked into
Didn’t want to, wasn’t trying
Didn’t ask questions I just did
And I fell down instead of flying

[chorus]I had to sacrifice my own
My heart and soul were yours
I gave it up to save myself
My heart and soul were yours
What did I think back then
How could I be so blind
I try to blame somebody else
But I know the choice was mine-I know the choice was mine

[ending]I keep on waiting
For somethings invisible
And I keep on waiting
For something to change

M.fs

happenings and flapawings

What’s going on? I’ll tell you. Life has begun. School started back up, as did choir, which I am excluded from this year – sadly. I’ll miss it. Several people have been texting, emailing me, or calling me to tell me how much they miss me, which makes me feel very loved. If ya’ll are reading this, you have no idea how meaningful it is to feel missed! Thank you so much for your sweet words and lovely thoughts. I miss you too!!! :-D

So now that I’m doing school for what seems like *all day*, whenever I have an extra breath, I’m working for my dad, which is fine with me, but it doesn’t leave a lot of extra time for extra-curricular activities such as: walking, singing, playing guitar+piano, writing, etc. I miss the free time, to be sure, but I also love the rush, the busyness of it all. It feels like I never stop moving, like I’m doing something with every minute of my day, from 5:30 to 10:00 I’m in a constant spin of events. Good thing, since I’m striving not to be idle (“she does not eat the bread of idleness”) this year, or rather, this *coming* year, which starts this week! So happy new year in advance! :-) Wish me luck, since I have a lot of changing to do with this new year. As tradition has it, I’ve made a lot of resolutions – more mental than visible, but I intend to write them down some time just so I can hold myself accountable, and to check myself at the halfway point. Good luck to all of you who are doing the same, and have a great year!!

Oh and before I forget, my Esperanto is going FANTASTIC! Oh my goodness, I totally encourage everyone to try it out, it only takes about 150 hours to equal 1500 hours of English! How amazing is that? Yeah, it’s incredible. So I’m using lernu.net and it’s really great – one of the best programs I’ve ever used. Very user-friendly, so if you’re interested, check it out! It’s completely free of charge!!

As for me, I’ve still been hard at work with SocialVibe, in case ya’ll are keeping up with them at all – you’ll notice we’re making great progress on the sidebar of my blog: great numbers people! Thanks for helping! I know we are all making a huge difference, and that’s worth a toast, so raise a glass to all of us next time we pop the cork! Congrats!!

M.fs

fight on

No more suffering, no more pain
Never again

I’m in the war of my life,
at the door of my life,
out of time
and there’s nowhere to run
I’m in the war of my life,
at the core of my life
Got no choice but to fight til its done

So fight on,
fight on everyone
fight on
got no choice but to fight til it’s done
I won’t give up
I won’t run
I won’t stop for anyone…

This is part of a song by John Mayer called War of My Life. It’s really inspiring, and exactly what I feel right now – there’s a lot of decisions to be made (every day is a new decision isn’t it? But that’s another post…) and somehow, the way he puts it is perfect. Fight on!

M.fs

good luck to you

I think sometimes when things seem hard, we need to learn to forget the bad times, and live in the moment. Focus on the good things in life. If you focus on the low points, you will become depressed. It becomes an attitude (pessimistic) and a way of living (depressed).

Good Luck To You

Watch the waves,
The smile you gave me,
Reflects in the sun
And I know you’re the one.
Sometimes when it knocks you
Down don’t give in.
Take it as it comes,
The tough ones never run.

‘cause when the cold wind’s fierce
And you can’t stand tall,
When it comes on strong
And you can’t hear the call of my voice,
Good, good, good, good luck to you. 

When you cry,
When you come untied,
You know I’ll be there for you,
Go anywhere for you.
And when they
Put you down, say,
“you ain’t got nothin’.”,
Well you’ve always got somethin’. 

‘cause when the cold wind’s fierce
And you can’t stand tall,
When it comes on strong
And you can’t hear the call of my voice,
Good, good, good, good luck to you.
 
See when you feel alone,
When you can’t find your home,
When you feel shut down,
You will feel my arms around you!

‘cause when the cold wind’s fierce
And you can’t stand tall,
When it comes on strong
And you can’t hear the call of my voice,
Good, good, good, good luck to you…

M.fs

Effects from the Muscatto, Ring, Owl City and Colorado

I have a thing with notebooks. I can’t get enough of them! As a matter of fact, I’m going to the office store to pick up some more. The thing is, you can use them for so many different things; they’re incredibly useful! I myself use them for writing lyrics, poems, stories, deep thoughts, taking notes, doodling, designing clothes, journaling, etc, but mostly for writing my lyrics in. Just today I finished up another notebook and turned it over to use the other side of the pages. It makes more use out of them, and it’s very green. [being eco-friendly and green will be mentioned in another post.]

Inspiration of the day: “I’ll think of you tonight” (phrase from Vanilla Twilight by Owl City), orange juice and muscatto, the word “Colorado” (as in the state), silver and turquoise ring perched on my middle finger. Don’t ask me why, but those were the inspirations for the following lines:

Sometimes I want to dive,
Into the atmosphere of life,
Jump into space and time,
Feel the warm sunshine.
The cold subriguous water,
Keeps me moving fast,
I think about the future
And I think about the past.
The night grows warm yet colder,
And I feel like I’m getting older,
I wish you were here to keep me company.
I look down at my feet,
And wonder why you’re not here,
The crickets will chirp in to accompany me.
The ski slopes in Nebraska,
And far in Colorado,
Reflect the sun from coming to my eyes.
I feel your warmth around me,
Still feel your last kiss linger,
But then I open my eyes and finally realize.
You’re not here with me today,
Even though I asked you to stay,
We’re moving on to whatever comes next.
I wish to G-d you were back home,
But you’re not inside a cell zone,
Without someone on the other side of a text.
But know that I miss you…

Okay, so I know there’s no continuity and not every line rhymes, but hey, are there any rules to inspiration? No. So voila – there’s the inspirational piece for today.

M.fs