Supersize Me.
family matters
I have three sisters, and I’ve often been asked how we do it. How do we spend time together without trying to kill each other? How are we so different from other siblings? How do we have such an amazing relationship? Well here are 6 reasons why I think we manage to stay such a close-knit family:
1. Always be the first to apologize – as with a healthy marriage, I believe that one should never let the sun go down on one’s anger, and to resolve whatever is in between the two parties before going to bed, if not before. Being first to apologize in any relationship is probably a good thing. Also, there are three steps to forgiveness: realizing one’s mistake, repenting of one’s actions, and then turning around and changing the way of living so that it never happens again. At least that’s my opinion.
2. If you want to do something nice for your sister (and I suppose it goes for anyone), the four love languages come into play:
- Words of affirmation (words)
- Acts of kindness (deeds)
- Gifts of appreciation (gifts)
- Physical affection (touch)
- Quality time (time)
If you don’t know their love language, I always think it’s safe and sweet to go with all of them. Do a little something in each area. For instance, if I did something wrong that upset my sister, I would first, apologize (using the three steps to forgiveness) [words] in person (so very important), include a hug [touch], do something to change or fix what I had done [deeds], and perhaps go get her something, or make her something (cookies!) [gifts] to show how much it means to me that she forgive/forgave me, and that I’ll do whatever it takes to maintain a good relationship, even if it means spending time with her over my other priorities in life [time].
3. It’s my fault – instead of focusing on her flaws or isms that annoy me, focusing on my own short-comings and try to fix them. She’s not the only one out of step.
4. Being open with whatever is on my mind – if one of my sisters does something that makes me feel out of place, left out, under-appreciated or whatever, I let them know. It’s a horrible thing to store up bitterness. Holding a grudge against someone, especially a family member, can ruin a relationship, even the little things. Get it out in the open, talk about it, come to a conclusion, and if you’re not happy with the outcome, SAY IT! It’s not okay to settle for something that isn’t alright with you.
5. Honesty is key – I always try to be completely honest with my sisters if they ask a question. That doesn’t mean tact is useless. Tact should always come into play, but when I’m asked “Is everything okay?”, “Are we good here?”, “Is something wrong?”, or “Are you mad at me for any reason?”, it’s sometimes hard, but so very important to be honestly truthful with the answer. Again, keeping everything in the open is a good thing – keeping your feelings inside will only harbor a grudge that will fester until it’s near impossible to let go of.
6. When people ask me, “How do you and your sisters not fight? How do you get along with them so well?” I seriously can’t think of an answer. What’s not to love about them? Acceptance is the biggy here – for years two members of my family were barely speaking because neither accepted the other for who they were, merely looking down on them for their habits, hobbies, and overall way of living. A year or two ago they finally got it all out and asked each other sincerely if they could set aside the myriads of differences they had and simple focus on the things they had in common – most importantly, the fact that they were sisters. It worked, and ever since they’ve been super-close and totally open with their emotions.
I’m sure there are so many more imperative guidelines to maintaining a great, healthy relationship with one’s family (sisters in particular), but those are my top priorities currently. I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts in the future some time, but for now, that’s all.
M.fs
dream the impossible dream…
I just finished the introduction of my book (106 Impossible Things Before Breakfast), and I am so excited to start solving! I tell you, I have a brand new outlook on life now. It’s very cliché to say that “this book has changed my life”, but it has been very insightful so far, and to be honest, I’ve already learned SO much!
Some things that really hit me were:
Attitude: try not to use the word “impossible”. Use “that’s tricky”, or “that would be very hard”.
Assumptions: avoid assuming things, and keep an open mind. Examples of skepticism are:
- “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” Harry M. Warner, Warner Bros. Pictures, 1927, when introduced to movies with audio content
- “Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.” Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895
- “The horse is here today, but the automobile is only a novelty – a fad.” President of Michigan’s Savings Bank advising against investing in the Ford Motor Company
- “Video won’t be able to hold onto any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.” Daryl F. Zanuck, 20th Century Fox, commenting on television, 1946
- “What use could the company make of an electric toy?” Western Union, when it turned down rights to the telephone in 1878
And look where we are! Years ago people thought that what we now call “modern conveniences” were impossible. Little did they know where we would be in a few years. So, push aside your assumptions and find your imagination.
Summing Up: You know now why the concept of impossibility doesn’t need to be limiting. If you focus on what can be accomplished as opposed to what cannot, you can turn the tide in a difficult problem.
Good luck!
M.fs
[im]possible
Okay, so my sister just bought me this book called, “106 Impossible Things Before Breakfast”. I was totally surprised to receive it, but completely and utterly touched as well. <sigh> After just coming back from out of the country, my big sister has changed so much – mostly for the better. To think of me in such a sweet and kind, loving way, I couldn’t convey my cooped up appreciation at the time.
So on a lighter note, doesn’t that sound intriguing!? I’m so excited to delve into the book, that I started it as soon as she handed it to me! It’s all about being able to do “impossible” things. Like, living forever, a knife that never dulls, or traveling in a car without an engine. There are 106 (duh) different situations, and the book explains all about changing your way of thinking.
So far I’ve learned that assumptions are not good. We’ve been trained to assume that certain things are impossible, and certain things are taken for granted. Like when we wake up in the morning and expect that the laws of gravity are still in place and that we’ll be able to get dressed without floating to the ceiling. Assumptions, whether good or bad, must be pushed aside in many cases. An open mind, sharp ideas, and creativity are all an important play in working with the so-called “impossible”.
Oh, one more thing… get the word “impossible” out of your head.
M.fs
thank you
This week I celebrated my birthday, and felt so blessed at the kindness and thoughtfulness of y friends and family, that I have to say I was overwhelmed. <sigh> A big “thank you” to all who remembered me. Thank you for your sweet gifts, your handwritten cards (from which I got quite teary-eyed, let me tell you), your grace and kindness in making, baking, buying, tying, writing, and typing all you gave. It is greatly appreciated.
Just today the little flag on our oversized mailbox went up, and its big head stuffed with thank-you notes for relatives and friends. I’m so blessed to know so many people, for which I am truly grateful. If you receive one, forgive the handwriting. ;-)
I recently read that thank-you note writing is one of the loveliest traditions to have been utterly compromised by the information age. I totally agree! The current “e-card” or “e-mail” that’s sent with a few impersonal lines is completely pathetic! Whatever happened to gratitude? Now, I’m all for going green, but instead of not using paper all-together, go for the eco-friendly stationery or the recycled paper. It’s not that hard people. Let’s start a movement to revive a little gracious living.
M.fs
opinions
I was recently set to thinking about people. People in general. I believe we are to be humble people – not to set ourselves lower than others simply in order to draw attention to ourselves, but truly and honestly humbled.
My reasoning:
We should not hate anyone – we should love everyone.
In order to love someone whom one dislikes, one must act/pretend one does; do everything a good friend would do; say all the things a good friend would say; be a good friend to that individual. Eventually, it will be sincere, as if one has learned to love over time.
The argument against this could be that one should not pretend to be something they’re not; a facade which disguises them. Transparency is key, and being honest is important. Anyway, it’s debatable.
A better approach to this, I believe, is to assume that everyone one meets is more righteous than one’s self; if not more righteous, than wiser; if not wiser, than more pious; etc.
I think that is something to keep in mind – at least I know that I have difficulty in this area. I find myself rolling my eyes, looking down with disdain, ignoring, or being rude and curt with certain people. I am ashamed of this. I hereby resolve to change.
M.fs
halfway
With a groan, I closed my eyes even tighter to shut out the bright world outside. Where I lay now, it seemed only half of my senses were alive – and I don’t mean the five senses, or at least I don’t think so. A coral light filtered in through my eyelids, and I was at peace. The shadow of a figure crossing the room put a wall between me and my serene world. I winced in anticipation of being roused. A moment later I had slipped back into my delirium. My feet, as I could feel them, were warm and still, until, with a tiny movement, I realized that they too were asleep. Cold and lifeless being bent for too long.
My mind was half alert, in between waking and sleeping. Part of me tried to stay inside my mental state, the other half refused to fight back, gradually forcing me into realization. Eventually, I tested the light. Immediately my eye clenched down after one brilliant beam shone through, magnified by the window. As my face cringed at the pain, my mind was jolted and began to slowly start churning. I felt I could hear the gears clicking, their repetitiveness working in rhythm with my heartbeat.
I could remember a time when I was looking up at a bookcase. The shelves that I could reach were not good enough; I was dissatisfied. The top shelf was too high for me to see over, but I could see the corner of a piece of paper edging off the top, enticing me to look. I couldn’t reach. I thought perhaps it was useless, just a scrap of paper, but part of me could not resist the mystery. I got a chair, climbed up, and, with a wave of anticipation, I beheld what I had been wondering at. My excitement was met with ho-hum and disappointment. The shelf was as I suspected. A smooth wooden surface covered with a layer of gray dust. My hopes were dashed as even the mysterious old paper was a simple empty page. I had half expected it, yet my mind was anxious to play along and so I let myself believe that there would be something more, something other than what was so normal, so expected. Yet I had known…
That memoir was something similar to what I felt now. I knew deep down that this sublime and careless feeling wouldn’t last, yet my mind raced to deny it. Fighting uselessly against myself simply firmed the knowingness. Nearly by accident my eyes slit open to take in yet another dose of excruciatingly painful brilliance. Again I tried to shut it out. I could almost feel the pupils of my sensitive blue eyes closing and opening to adjust to the rapid changes of light. A deep sigh settled my restless nerves and allowed me to once again attempt to stay in my own little world, in this limbo of sleeping and waking.
My breathing slowed. The drumming in my ears echoed my slowing heart as my body shook with each repeated beat.
M.fs
